I was washing dishes in the kitchen one day last week when I heard my preschooler in the room next to me singing a brand new song. I paused to listen and couldn’t help but smile and chuckle to myself as I heard, “everythingggg is going wrong today… everything is going wrong today. Everyyyyything is going wrong today.” The lyrics may not be too clever, but truthfully, it was pretty catchy. I listened for a few more minutes before walking over to check in.
Since that day, this song has made a few appearances in our house/car over the past week. It still makes me chuckle because it is such an honest (and natural) reaction to disappointment, but yesterday as the song once again became audible in our living room (after a very very minor mishap) it struck me a bit differently. You see, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with acknowledging disappointment. Things often happen that I don’t like or that frustrate me. However, one thing I want to be cautious of, is allowing myself or my kiddos to foster and perpetuate a negative mindset. Today, I chose to acknowledge his song, acknowledge what was disappointing, and then take a moment to reflect on the good, fun, and beautiful moments that had also occurred that morning. Things like playing with his best friend in the sandbox, eating a delicious snack, getting to create with his new stickers, etc. This is obviously a specific situation and these examples may not be applicable to you or your students, but I think the simple truth still holds. Our mindsets are powerful. Our mindset can effect change. Our mindsets are also fragile. A strong positive mindset is something that can be cultivated from an early age and re-instilled and practiced throughout life. In fact, when I think back to childhood, one of the most commonly used phrases that I attribute to my own mom is about “the power of positive thinking.” This is something she worked to instill in each of her own children from a young age. It came up oftentimes during sports: when she wanted me to be able to juggle the soccer ball ten times and I said “that’s impossible!” or when my brother was working on batting practice and was struggling to make good contact, or even at the dinner table when I was frustrated by pre-cal homework that just wasn’t clicking. You want to know the results of that positive thinking? I went on to be captain of my soccer team and to this day love juggling the soccer ball. It’s a form of stress relief for me and a reminder that I can do hard things. My brother also went on to be a successful baseball player and now gets to pass these same skills and love of sports on to his son. I studied hard, received my Masters in Education and found incredible purpose in helping others to learn to love (or at least not fear) math! A positive mindset is a powerful and beautiful thing!
When it comes to education there are studies by Angela Duckworth and Carol Dweck that speak to the invaluable benefits of having a positive mindset, a growth mindset, and the determination to persevere. In case you too are in need of a reminder today, it’s okay to feel the negative, it’s okay to be upset! Just don’t let it ruin your perspective. Are you feeling defeated by your most recent test or quiz grade? How can you use that feedback to grow? What skills can you focus on now to improve and better prepare for the next challenge? What can you do differently next time? Take a step back and enjoy the things you love. Relax and take a moment to reflect on and recommit to your goals. Remember, practice makes better. From a parent or teacher perspective, helping your kids to know and believe that they CAN change their outcome, they CAN learn and grow academically, and that they ARE capable of hard things can result in a stronger and more positive perception of themselves and can lead to increased creativity, productivity, confidence, and resilience.
